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Ponyville Pony Banter with your host: Scamper!

Discussion in 'Main Roleplay' started by CottonOrange, 22 August 2012.

  1. CottonOrange

    CottonOrange Karaoke King

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    The familiar jingle played and the audience whooped and cheered. The crimson red curtain slowly rose as the spotlight from high in the theater shone down on stage. As the curtain had raised fully, it revealed on stage the scene. One comfy looking chair, one large comfy looking couch with two comfy looking cushions, a small coffee table including a jug of water and a few glasses. The backdrop, a cityscape of Canterlot at night and a large sign with the words: Pony Banter!

    "Hello everyone!" Came a voice on the loudspeaker. A few ponies whistled and some hoof stomped. "Welcome to...." "PONY BANTER!" Came the excited cheers from the audience. "With your host...Scamper!" The golden coloured pony trotted on stage, wearing a crisp suit and bow tie. He gave a large beaming smile and waved to the audience, carrying a microphone. "Good evening! Good evening! It's great to see so many of you out there tonight! We have plenty of guests this evening and i hope we get a couple of laughs out of you!" Scamper cleared his throat, still making sure to keep his smile on.

    He sat down in the comfy looking chair.
    "Tonight's topics are:
    • 'Is it possible for ponies to turn carrots....into gold?'
    • 'Just what is going on in the head of Discord?'
    • 'What can be done to improve Ponyville?'
    • 'Can the Crimson Arrows best The Wonderbolts in a race?
    • 'Your favorite recipes, shared!'
    So with out further ado, let us welcome our first guest!" The audience whooped and cheered wondering who their first guest would be.
    ((We have 5 topics, meaning first come first served for each topic!))
     
  2. Pon4

    Pon4 Unloved by Al

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    I have a character pending who I'd love to use here. If it's okay I'm calling dibs in a hopeful advance on any topic you'd like, your pick.
     
  3. CottonOrange

    CottonOrange Karaoke King

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    ((Of course! How About we start with the first topic? :) ))
     
  4. Pon4

    Pon4 Unloved by Al

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    Go ahead and introduce him, he just got accepted.
     
  5. CottonOrange

    CottonOrange Karaoke King

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    Scamper turned to face the audience wit ha large grin. "Now our first guest, i'm sure you'll enjoy! I just hope he is not too coy! Introducing Spoony Ballard!" Scamper turned to the left wing of the stage, clapping his hooves. He very faintly gestured for the pony on the side to make their appearance in the spotlight.
     
  6. Pon4

    Pon4 Unloved by Al

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    The spotlight arched its way to the correct prompt, where a stallion sprang out like an over-wound Jack-in-a-box. He seemed well preened ready for his appearance: his upper body was decked out in a finely embroidered doublet of dark shades of burgundy against tinges of old gold and amber, with fine ruffled cuffs around his fetlocks, all of which complimenting his proud figure. His mane had a large puffy hat matching his outfit, which while on its own would be appropriate if unusual, carried a huge feather. It resembled the lofty white crests of a griffon's, but its sheer size was more that of a... garuda's? It was hard to determine. Such creatures were not seen in Equestria, and how he would obtain such a thing would be beyond anyone in the crowd.
    A few beats into his introduction, the stallion broke into a boisterous song.

    "Good evening dear friends, and I welcome you all,
    To this show of wonder, sure to enthrall!
    Spoony Ballard's the name, as I'm sure you all know,
    Accompanying is Scamper, an entertaining pro,
    He'll lead the debate, I'll answer his line,
    And I know for sure we'll have a jolly good time!
    Sit back and relax, prepare for some fun,
    This night's performance will be on everyone's tongue!"

    His tones were rich with glee, and while incredibly off kilter, were infectiously merry. Some ponies found themselves endeared, the majority found themselves unsure they could hear the rest of the show. Another dazzling entrance, it seemed.
    The young stallion whirled and spun around the stage and with a flourish of his hooves he deftly spun his way onto the chair he was offered. He nudged the coffee table in the process of this and seemed to slam his hoof against a chair leg, but he continued unhindered, and the glasses ceased their rattling in almost perfect timing to his seating.

    "Hello my friend, and how are you?
    I hope that none amongst us feel particularly blue?"
     
  7. CottonOrange

    CottonOrange Karaoke King

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    Scamper chuckled, and clapped his hooves together cheerfully. He grinned widely, highly impressed by the pony's unique song and entrance. "I say! How about that Ladies and gentlecolts! What a spectacular entrance!" He exclaimed heartily into his microphone, gesturing to Spoony. The audience gave a large round of applause, many beaming up at the stage. Scamper offered a hoof to the pony sitting opposite him, still with a friendly smile. "Good evening Spoony, how're you feeling?" A very soft and smooth jazz type tune was played by the band just below the stage, setting the mood for a relaxed and calm scene.
     
  8. Pon4

    Pon4 Unloved by Al

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    Spoony smiled serenely and bowed gently before his audience. A tomato narrowly missed the right side of his head, flying above the stage to somewhere undefined. He seemed unphased, and took his host's hoof graciously in two of his own with another appreciative bow.

    "Like all days I can't say I'm bad,
    Though these days things seem quite drab, just a tad,
    Just this morning in the market I gave out a song,
    But nary a pony would stay for very long,
    I thought to myself, 'just why not they stay?
    Could this just be the city pony way?
    These poor soulless beings, it's them I must save,
    From the humdrum and routine that lingers like plague.'
    I hoped that tonight I could levy some joy,
    And through your kind spotlight I hope to employ.
    Thank you for having me, it's entirely my pleasure,
    Please carry on in your most gracious leisure."
     
  9. CottonOrange

    CottonOrange Karaoke King

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    Scamper blinked.....the shook out of his daze. He re adjusted his monocle, and smiled once more. "Yes....quite....So let us move briskly onto our first topic of the night! Oh, and please keep tomato throwing to a minimum! So Mr. Spoony, tell me....what are your thoughts on ponies being able to turn regular items, such as carrots into pure gold?" Scamper lay back in his large chair, awaiting his response.
     
  10. Pon4

    Pon4 Unloved by Al

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    Spoony laughed, halfway between a socialite's chuckle and the belly laugh of a more honest pony. He turned to his host and began another rhyme:

    "Good sir, do not be so formal,
    Calling me 'Mister' just feels abnormal,
    Instead call me Spoony, or Bal if desired,
    I've not used a title since my taxes required.
    (Of course I don't pay them, how could I say,
    That I have no residence, no official place to stay,
    Without concrete lodging I haven't a hold,
    So Mr. Taxpony don't be so cold.)
    On the subject of taxes, money and riches,
    I ponder your question and holster my breeches,
    I may not wear any, but that is no matter,
    Onwards I'll take us with increasing natter.
    Carrots to gold, you say, what piffle and tosh,
    Gold is something reserved for the posh.
    What can money do for you, fill up your belly?
    You don't see these metals at any deli!
    Magic is powerful, ancient and arcane,
    But for our economists it must be a pain.
    Supply and demand, this becomes obsolete,
    When wanton desire is easy to meet.
    I say to magicians, 'you there, watch your horn,
    Sometimes us Earth ponies just want some corn,
    Trinkets and baubles are quaint to behold,
    But nothing when starving and out in the cold.
    Redirect efforts to something more handy,
    Giving out food, drink and candy.
    Balance is key, this I will warn,
    Go too far, and our lifestyles you scorn.'"

    The rhyme was oddly rhythmic, following timing of the background music, his hoof movements providing accompaniment to it. Clearly the stallion was used to this sort of thing. While he showed no sign of slowing in his speech, he was rather mellow in his recital, and now patiently awaited a response from his host, hooves together towards the stallion in a casual pose.
     
  11. CottonOrange

    CottonOrange Karaoke King

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    Scamper nodded slowly. "Yes...yes...but wouldn't you think that perhaps some ponies may give away this gold if it is easily obtainable? That could surely help farms to grow an prospers. But now, you also say food supplies may run low, however i think i have a solution to that problem. Do you know the recipe for golden soup? It's a very delectable dish that i am sure will please." Scamper looked as if he was trying to hold back a chuckle as he continued his friendly grin.
     
  12. Pon4

    Pon4 Unloved by Al

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    "Magic is indeed an odd fact of life,
    Able to quell hurricanes, trouble and strife,
    But balance, as I say, is of utmost need,
    Our magic should only provide us with feed,
    Not fanciful items like shimmering metal,
    But fixing wrongs and the odd dodgy kettle.
    Giving it out still does not ring fair,
    Overused magic, space-time will tear,
    Hoofing out gold whenever you're able,
    Will not keep our universe stable.
    The familiar adage of Midas's hoof,
    Though a story from somewhere aloof,
    Reminds us extravagance is a villain to avoid,
    Even if unicorns may be annoyed.
    Addressing your point on farmyard expansion,
    If everyone did that I'd live in a mansion,
    Economists and other bureaucrat kinds,
    Find these matters a pain in their hinds,
    Your viewers I do not wish to make lairy,
    But important it is to make ponies wary,
    Money is always quite well and good,
    But if we were rich we would not produce food,
    Gold is a substance I don't wish to eat,
    Where I come from it goes beneath feet,
    We make roads and occasionally items of fancy,
    Boiling the metal seems intenstinally chancey."

    Spoony's cheerful demeanour wavered a little considering the serious matter at hoof, but maintained a bouyancy regardless, even laughing subtly at his closing comment. The audience seemed, at least to him, enchanted by his argument, and it seemed no more produce was being readied at this junction.
     
  13. Rizae

    Rizae Rainbow Swag

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    “Hey, is it my turn yet!” Heartstoker stood by the curtain, once again questioning the staff pony that stood preventing her from running onto the stage.
    “No Ms. Heartstoker, as I said we’ll let you know when we’re ready for you, now please… just sit down.” He was clearly stressed by the questions that had been bombarding him since the show began, and it showed on his face. “You’re lucky to be here at all, your name’s not even on the list.”
    “Heyyy I told you, there must have been a mix-up somewhere. I’ve got my bit all planned out and everything! Want to hear it again?”
    “Alright, alright- I mean.. NO! Just… please… sit down… over there.” He pointed to a seat a good distance away from him, hoping she’d give him a few minutes peace and enable him to keep his eye on the show.
    ‘Pfft, fine, I guess I can wait a little longer’ She thought as she moved back into a seat, holding a few notes in her hand. Though she was hoping to talk about her favourite recipe, what she had written down did not contain any recipe at all.
     
  14. CottonOrange

    CottonOrange Karaoke King

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    "Mmhmm..yes. Very interesting points you bring up there..." Scamper nodded slowly, closing his eyes slightly and pondering his next words wisely. "Now...You say Golden Soup does not sound tasy...or could be dangerous to consume? Well. The recipe is easy! All you need..." The pony working the drums began a drum roll, getting louder, and louder, and louder then! "All you need is twenty four carrots! (Carats)" Some members of the audience chuckled, whilst a few groaned. But nevertheless, the traditional *Ba-dum Tshh!* Rim-shot was heard.
     
    Pon4 and Rizae like this.
  15. Rizae

    Rizae Rainbow Swag

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    “Oh, now I get it! Carrots! Because you put carrots in soup! Wait.. that’s not funny.. Hey, why’s everypony laughing? I don’t get it.”
    At this, the assistant by the curtain lost his cool completely. “NO, CARATS. Because, you know, it’s gold, 24 carat.. GOLD.. carrots.. carats.. CARATS!” He put a hoof to his head, breathing heavily through gritted teeth. The constant distractions and annoyance from Heartstoker had finally became too much for him.
    “Oh! … … … I still don’t get it.”
    “AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGH!” He ran from the curtain screaming, desperate to get away from Heartstoker, thus leaving the stage unguarded. Seeing this, she grinned widely and poked her head past the curtain, looking at the many audience members watching the show.
    ‘Wow… so many ponies! I wonder if it’s my turn now!’
     
  16. Pon4

    Pon4 Unloved by Al

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    "A terrible pun, I must remark,
    It's little wonder you excel at this lark,
    Abandoning pretense I must declare,
    Your argument lacks substance, contains only flair.
    Dragons perhaps can sustain on metals
    Ponies like us? Grass and petals.
    Magical heresy will consume us all,
    Listen not to his crowd-pleasing, you are doomed in his thrall!"

    Spoony was unusually alarmed by the situation he suddenly found himself in. A button on his gaudy shirt flew off, almost perfectly timed, to his outburst, and a hair seemed to twinge into the shape of a broken lute string.
     
  17. CottonOrange

    CottonOrange Karaoke King

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    "My dear fellow! Do try to relax!" He still maintained the grin and he chuckled a little. "But yes, it seems your points are indeed valid. Gold and jewels are certainly not fit for pony consumption." Scamper nodded thoughtfully. Upon hearing the scream of the stage hand, he gulped nervously, then smiled largely once again. He stretched out a hoof towards Spoony and spoke into his microphone again. "Well Spoony, it's been wonderful having you on the show! Thank you for coming by and sharing your views!" The audience applauded the ponies on stage, and the smooth jazz played by the band segued into the usual jingle of the show.
     
  18. Rare80

    Rare80 His Rareness

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    Just out of curiosity, how many of the show's topics are still up for grabs, and which ones?
     
  19. CottonOrange

    CottonOrange Karaoke King

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    There are 3 topics sill up for grabs!
    'Just what is going on in the head of Discord?'
    'What can be done to improve Ponyville?'
    'Can the Crimson Arrows best The Wonderbolts in a race?
     
  20. Rare80

    Rare80 His Rareness

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    Sweetness! I'll take "What can be done to improve Ponyvillle?" message me or something when you get there, alright?
     

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