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Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Discussion' started by Dax, 18 July 2013.
And you think you're not passable.
ah, that's fair ^^ My old name was pretty unisex anyway <3
but I have to admit, being Luna Hollie feels a lot better (it's the name my parents were going to give me if I was born the right sex) but I can understand that.
you are definitely passable ^^
Luna Hollie is a beautiful name. I love it.
I must admit that I'm with Lincon Philosopony in that I'm starting to question if there's even such a thing as gender in the psychological sense. The more I think about what it would mean, the more I get the impression that it's more accurate to say "I have these traits that stereotypically belong to the label: Male, and these traits that stereotypically belong to the label: Female". I guess at some point I should speak with my MtF aunt about it.
On that note, one thing that has struck me though is that I've never known her before her change, and she's always been my aunt. Additionally, I've known that she was a transexual for as far back as I have memories, so it's obviously not a fact I was "protected" from as a kid. I can only guess that this is one reason why I get confused by people having an issue with transexuals in the first place.
I'm agender, in the sense that I think that gender is just a stupid social construct and I don't see the point in identifying with any of them. No, not because of any physical dysphoria (to any major degree, anyway), I just think the concept of gender is pointless - gender is a thing that everyone has to some degree or another, and all of them are generally considered equal to a civilised person, so what's the point in having gender at all? That's my thinking.
(This is also why I don't "get" gay pride. To me, being gay is about as significant a thing as being straight - in that it shouldn't be significant at all.)
Perhaps not the most relevant train of thought given that there is still social and legal differentiation between genders, but in the future I kind of hope the whole thing phases into irrelevance.
The point of gay pride in the festivals and togetherness sense is to show gay people that they should not be afraid to express themselves and to show the world that being gay is normal. LGBT people are mocked, oppressed, tortured and even killed for being born, the world can be cruel and even in a liberal city in relatively accepting country I still get mocked on a daily basis. If this happened to straight people then there would probably be a straight pride but it doesn't.
As for gender, remember while traits like 'boys like x' and 'girls do x' are just social nonsense their are physical differences between men and women that don't just involve the downstairs party section. As a trans girl I feel terrible that my ass will never fill my jeans, tbat my hips are too narrow, that my neck is too thick, that my brow ridge is too caveman-esq and that if I lose weight I will lose all the thigh girth I have. These traits, especially facial proportions are picked up by everyones, well lets call it facial recognition software which is something we all have that helps us access the world around us and people don't let these little traits go. They pick up on the automatically thanks to a biological que.
Gender is how you present, sex is what ya got, and these things are here to stay. Not to say that there won't come a day people will stop beliving that your fun zone prevents you from thinking a certain way and buying certain products but what they are is something that we have to tackle in media. Kids are raised with toys telling them who they can be and what they can do and this continues throughout adulthood, we can't just say that preconceived gender stereotypes are bull, boys can wear dresses and girls can love GI Joes, we have to tackle these preconceptions and show the world that these things are stupid and unhealthy. Sticking your fingers in your ears and pretending that the 7 billion other people on the planet all agree with you/me is silly and isn't going to get us anywhere.
Join Facebook groups like the Pigtail Pals, when you have to compliment a little girl call her smart or strong, not just princess or cute and send letters to companies you think are doing it right and to those you think are doing it wrong.
There's a video out there of people reacting to boys wearing pink nail varnish, it's disgusting to watch people get so angry about something so small and I don't have a 'bob mode' for this very reason. I don't care if I can't pass right now, I don't care if I look like a 'half n' half' (customers words) I want to wear makeup, I want to buy shoes with heels, I want to flirt with guys and I don't care who knows it. Yes, someday I will have my surgery, someday I may pass for stereotypically feminine but that's the future, right now I'm making the best with what I got and I/you should never let anyone stop your from blossoming our identity.
I agree with the others, you can definitely pass, and your size isn't going to stop that. Lots of ladies are larger sizes, so I am not sure how being a larger size can prevent you from passing. And you are not ugly at all, that's your lack of self-confidence coming through there - and not surprising considering the reaction people have given you where you work. What you are seeing in the mirror is very different what me, Arlo and the others are seeing in your photos.
Jesus christ....that confidence...that is so admirable..really, I wish I had your confidence, i'm constantly afraid someone will notice and target me. but you just take it and keep going...you're amazing
After reading through the walls of text in this thread, I can quite happily retain the huge amounts of respect i have for transgendered people, you guys and girls really must need guts to go through something as life changing as that. As for my soon to be transitioning friend, I haven't spoken to him/her properly since I left college, so I don't even know if s/he is identifying as female yet.
I was thinking if it was alright if I asked a couple of questions.
1. how many have started hormones, if you have, how are you taking them, what is it like for you? if you haven't, do you plan to? why/why not?
2. Whenever I go out passing, i'm so self-conscious about myself, is it the same for you, how do you deal with it?
It's late and I can't sleep, so I figured I should probably finally write something here seeing as I've been lurking for too long.
I'm Becca, 19 year-old MTF, currently working toward going full time when I go to uni in London from this year, which is rather daunting. I never really properly posted anything about this when I changed my username on UKofE, but people have been pretty much unanimously accepting and that's been lovely.
I'm just about to hit three months on hormones, which thus far has been a pretty positive experience, and having a bunch of friends who're either trans themselves or supportive in that regard has been really wonderful. I came out to myself, I suppose, early last summer, but have only started properly pursuing this this year in a bid to focus on myself, and to be honest I'm really excited to be living as Rebecca and stuff. Problems that you can actually do something about are the best kind of problems.
I can't think of anything else to write.
1. I'm not. I'm agendered, so taking hormones would just make me look more like a certain sex, whereas usually I can make myself look male or female.
2. I have multi-colored hair, so most people look at that, but I suppose I've been doing it long enough that no comments are really made anymore. I used to get called a Shemale in high school, among other things, but some of the name calling was so interesting I've taken it as my own.
1. Not on hormones yet. I have applied to my local GIC and hope to have them within a year. I want them to feel better. Without them, things will only be bleak for me
2. I'm told I actually pass without hormones. Not so sure myself, though. I only get nervous where people that know me are Iikely to be.
If you had shown me that photo of you without posting in this thread, I would have totally believed you were a full-on female.
But to be honest, even though I don't consider myself to be gay, I would actually be fully okay to date an MTF transgender. No, I am not kidding. I mean, granted, I still have the same sort of standards I'd have for any woman but I'm open to new things.
1. I'm not on hormones yet but i'm looking to start very soon. Via GIC or Self Medication, it really depends on how long it takes now, as I've been waiting 2 years to be able to do this and I dont know how much more I can take of looking and feeling as I do. I just want them so I can be happy about myself, and pass easier.
2. I've been told numerous times throughout my life I have a very feminine look to my face, and a few people I speak to online who have seen pictures of me generally assumed I was born female. I dont really think I look that good though, but other people seem to. It's much more convincing for me in fitted clothes however, though because of my pretty troubled past with bullying, I find going out in public extremely difficult.
(Also, unrelated to the question, a quick update!
It's been a month since my doctor referred me to Charing Cross, and she told me it'd be at least a month before I heard anything back, so I'm really excited but nervous right now :3)
Should really answer these two directly:
1 - I've been on them three months as of monday, I'm with Sunderland (technically now Newcastle) GIC and the experience thus far (of the clinic and hormones) has been very good. Occasionally I could do without the sometimes rather uncontrollable emotions but it's not the end of the world. Quite a few things are changing which is really exciting and it also seems to be having an effect on my face (I'm told) but that might be because I'm smiling a bit more.
2 - I haven't as of yet although I'm incredibly self-conscious anyway.
I think my parents are coming to terms with it better now, they just got home from London early, mum gave me a small box of makeup as a treat~
It's such a good feeling when your parents do that ^^ my mom took me shopping the other day and helped me learn about stuff
i'm so happy for you ^^