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Tory Leadership Debate

Discussion in 'In The News' started by Recurrent Trotting, 17 June 2019.

  1. Recurrent Trotting

    Joined:
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    Been by far the most interesting leadership race for any party I can remember. Mainly thanks to Rory Stewart being great. I actually followed him for ages before now, and even before I knew he was an MP, because I liked his writing, but seeing him campaign has been one of the best political things I've seen for so long. If anyone can restore public trust and confidence in this country it would be him.

    Meanwhile Boris is being taken to court for betraying public trust :p

    Rory Snow.
    Role in the story After humble beginnings as an MP in the North next to a big Wall, advocating unifying the troubled SNP wildlings with the oppressed Northmen, Rory has turned out to be the Politics that was Promised. But will the people who write the story (the Tory MPs and members) fail to understand that they have great material and ruin it all?
    Special power Resurrection: the WA is dead... isn't it?
    Weakness Frailty Integrity
    Tag-line: "I know nothing."

    CerBoris Lannister
    Role in the story Blond haired but black-hearted, Cerboris uses her appeal to peoples' groins to avoid needing to have any good qualities, despite being an extremely prominent public figure. Happy for the UK to fall apart and explode in wild fire just so long as she gets her way.
    Special power Self-belief (a superhuman feat when you are so useless); Invisibility
    Weakness Sunlight - like a vampire, when exposed to the light CerBoris' substance just melts away
    Tagline "..."

    Jamie LanniGove
    Role in the story Once a lover of CerBoris, LanniGove got in her way and was banished. Viewed as ambivalent and untrustworthy by supporters of CerBoris and Rory Snow alike.
    Special power Endurance. Despite losing his self-respect he stumps on, trying to stay relevant.
    Weakness Being both a bit too close to the CerBoris and Rory Snow camps.
    Tagline "She's hateful... and so am I."

    Saajid Javid Groot
    Role in the story None.
    Special power Symbolism - the others can refer to him and smile before moving on
    Weakness Not appearing in this story.
    Tag-line "I <3 Groot! Anyway, moving on..."

    JereLittle Huntfinger
    Role in the story This business-person wants to be liked by everyone, but nobody trusts him. Mainly because his plan for the NHS was to f*** it.
    Special power Using your body for profit
    Weakness A record of dissatisfcation with his services
    Tag-line "Do you know what the NHS is? It's the thousand blades of Thatcher's enemies. If you can't afford healthcare then you don't deserve to climb the ladder."
    As befits an epic, long-running series, Goverment of Tories is a series with a vast cast of characters that interact with the main story-line.

    One of the main antagonists in GoT is the shambling army of the brain-dead, composed of former citizens of the the 4 Kingdoms, whose glazed eyes are blinded to the world around them. They no longer speak other than to moan "Reeeebrain" or "Noooo-deeeeeaaghl", have lost their senses and when engaged will overrun those not already brain-dead to add them to their ranks.

    The brain-dead are led the notorious sh*te-talkers. Chief among these is The Trump King and his lieutenant Farage; Farage can raise whole armies merely by lifting his arm, while holding a pint-glass. The sh*te-talkers are notoriously strong, but also very brittle and known to explode when pierced by logicite. Only when the sh*te-talkers fall will their armies of brain-dead followers be able to return to the world of the living.

    One of the uglier players in GoT is Walder Mcdonnel. Walder McDonnel could have been an important ally of Rory Snow, but his ambition and jealousy of Tony Blair-Stark makes him a servant of CerBoris. Walder McDonnel has cemented his power over the Labour-lands by nepotism. He is assisted in this by his latest fertile wife, Jessica Corbyn, whose womb has already sired hundreds of little Mcdonnels.
     
    #1 Recurrent Trotting, 17 June 2019
    Last edited: 20 June 2019

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