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Who is the real Wolf?

Discussion in 'Fanfics & Writing' started by Mista Squishy, 18 October 2014.

  1. Mista Squishy

    Mista Squishy (ThatSquishyGuy)

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    Sooooo.... i have stumbled onto an old-ish entry for a 100 word cap challenge i entered a while back though it is not pony related, i though i may as well post it here anyway, after all it is fiction non-the-less.

    The goal was to put a "twist" in a fairy tale or piece of fiction, so mine is about Riding Hood and the Wolf, it happened to be one of the top 5 in the contest along with 4 of my classmate's entries :D

    Feed back would be pleasant and appreciated.

    Enjoy :3

    Who is the real Wolf?

    Riding Hood skipped innocently down the woods toward a Cottage.
    The Cottage was all covered in thick, dark moss.
    A dark shadow appeared in the distance.
    it was the Wolf. the Beast's hair was jet black, it's eyes burning with a green flame, it's mouth drooling with horrid, thick saliva.
    Riding Hood entered the old Cottage, he sneakily followed her in.
    For a few moments there was screaming.
    Later, outside the Cottage hung a Wolf's carcass without a single element of flesh left on it.
    Nobody knew what happened in that Cottage on that day, but i think you can guess.

    (i presume this is not overly gory, after all I've done worse posts in the Role Play section of which were authorised by a moderator)
     
  2. Loganberry

    Loganberry Element of Custard

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    Nah, I think it's fine. I'd say it would be Teen-rated on FimFiction, and that's generally okay. :)

    Interesting little story, too, especially given the 100-word limit. I'm actually pretty impressed by the quite detailed story you've packed into such a tiny space. Reminds me a tad of one of Roald Dahl's Revolting Rhymes, actually. Though obviously without the rhyming bit. :p It could do with a little proofreading, but I think the underlying tale is a good one. :)
     
    Aethelberdia likes this.
  3. Mista Squishy

    Mista Squishy (ThatSquishyGuy)

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    Thanks ^.^ I was thinking of maybe expanding it into a twist on the whole tail, rather than a portion
    the story did start out at 180 words then I had to hack away at bits to shorten it :)
     

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